Whats a short guy to do?
So here’s the deal, I’m 27 and independent. I am good-looking and look very young for my age. I am a sharp dresser and funny and charming, people in general adore me. I have accepted these truths after being told this by a variety of people with no relation or bias to me. My confidence is the highest it’s ever been in my life, and I love to build on it every day.
My main insecurity, which does not bug me nearly as much as it used to, is that I am 5’3. I have had women who are attracted to me tell me that they wish I was taller. I feel like in those situations it is them feeling self-conscious about their height, not mine as I don’t mind taller women at all.
My question is: When I’m in a situation where a woman ‘wishes I was taller’ should I call her out on it and make it clear that her height does not make me insecure? Or am I better off looking for women who aren’t bothered by the difference? Or should I just stick to the shorties? Looking forward to your feedback.
A woman who tells you, to your face, that she wishes you were taller is not a nice person. That’s the first thing you need to understand. She doesn’t really wish you were taller. She’s trying to make herself seem less shallow and obnoxious. You’ll never be taller than 5’3″. That’s just reality. They know that. It’s a fixed escape. By saying to you that they wish you were taller, they’re trying to gracefully (in their deluded mind) exit the conversation.
It doesn’t matter that her height doesn’t bother you. It matters that your height bothers her. She’s not genuinely concerned for the blow to your ego that you might take by being out with her. She’s contemplating the sneers and smirks she will receive by being seen with you.
Let’s face it. 5’3″ is short. It’s not Michael J. Fox short. It’s short. By 27 years old, you know this. You can proceed as though it’s not, but you’re not helping yourself. Unless you have a number #1 sitcom on the air with a million dollar movie franchise behind you, no amount of charm is going to make up for your height. I’m not an advocate of repeatedly shooting out of your league. Should you swear off taller women? No. But they are not your audience. The “shorties” are. I have to admit that I hear a disdain for shorter women in that sentence. That’s akin to a chubby woman saying she doesn’t like to date “fat” guys. Whether you like to hear it or not, the “shorties” are your target market.
I am a sharp dresser and funny and charming, people in general adore me.
Right, but do you understand that many of those people are probably being disingenuous? While I’m sure there are plenty of people who like you, just by being 5’3″ some people are going to naturally condescend to you thinking they’re doing you a favor. So don’t buy into all of that. That’s no different than the deluded women who go around saying how “everybody” think they look 10 years younger than they are. Most of them don’t. They’ve just been told that they do because people can smell their insecurity or need for attention. It’s not real.
I think a big part of your problem is that you’re taking all this feedback you receive and believing it. You said it yourself. People “adore” you. Orly? Don’t you think if that were the case then some of them would toss their personal biases a side and date you? You want to believe that your personality and charm should make people overlook the fact that you’re 5’3″. The problem with that is that that charm might not actually exist. You’re believing the hype instead of facing the reality of your situation. No good comes from that. The dangers to existing in an echo chamber where everybody tells you what you want to hear is that you end up believing that you’re something that you’re not. If you’re going to repeatedly gravitate towards people who swoon over your charm and personality, you’re going to continue to go up against what you’ve encountered. That being, a bunch of douchey women who pretend to wish that you were taller. Notice how they don’t say that they wish they were shorter. They’re making it about you. They’re telling you in a subversive way that they perceive you to be flawed.
Focus on women that are focused on you. Learn ways to meet women who don’t find your height an issue. That’s where you’ll have the most luck.