If you open your profile with “Okay, Ladies…” I will go out with you just so I can punch you in the nut sack. #okcupid
— ATWYSingle (@ATWYSingle) April 24, 2013
1. Don’t roll out the Welcome mat – Opening your About Me section with some sort of greeting is a waste. You’re taking up the 2 seconds that you need to grab someone’s attention. Plus it just makes you sound like you’re trying too hard. Just get right to it.
2. Don’t start off explaining how uncomfortable/hard it is to talk about yourself – You’re not fooling anybody. This isn’t an eight grade book report where you have to meet a word minimum. Don’t take short cuts like this. Plus, it makes you sound negative.
3. Think keywords – This is the part of your profile where you should include as many descriptors as possible. I’ve mentioned how people use certain keywords when doing searches in order to better hone in on people with whom they’d feel compatible. Forget using words like outgoing and adventurous. Include specific stories and examples of activities that you think will give people a better idea of who you are. Do a search, view a bunch of profiles and, from the ones that appeal to you, choose words those people use in their profile to describe themselves. That way you’ll be drawing people like them to you.
4. Lists are good - A lot of people find writing about themselves to be a chore. Take a little shortcut by coming up with a bullet point list of things that describe you, your hobbies and your interests. Don’t just say you love animals or enjoy the beach. Give specific examples. For example:
- I recently downloaded the Debbie Downer sound clip to my phone. When something goes awry, I play it and it gives me a chuckle.
- Me time sometimes includes binge watching House of Cards and Sherlock while enjoying a nicer Cabernet/cup of tea.
- ASPCA commercials get me every time. I don’t have enough room in my closet for all the tote bags I’ve been given for making a donation.
5. If you’re using OK Cupid, answer questions that revolve around topics most important to you – Search some profiles, find ones that you like and look through their questions. You can choose to view questions by categories. If you’re big on the outdoors or politics or the arts, look for questions to answer that focus on that topic. That’s going to get you included in searches for people with similar opinions and lifestyle interests.
6. Be available – A lot of people prefer to grab someone’s attention while they’re logged in. Log on to the site and keep the window open while you’re doing other things. Who cares if you always appear online. Unless someone is monitoring your profile, nobody is going to know.
7. Post an eye catching primary photo – Your face should take up the majority of that little thumbnail that pops up when someone does a search. Try to choose a photo where you’re wearing a bright color. That way your thumbnail will stand out and jump off the page.
8. Post no more than 3-5 pictures – I actually think 3 good shots are enough. Face, body, social shot. Done. The more pictures you have, the more reason you’re giving someone not to contact you. Make sure your photos are clear and that the lightening is ideal. No shot from the side or far away or wearing sunglasses.
9. Keep your busy schedule to yourself – Don’t mention how many hours you work or how hard it might be to schedule a date.
10. Fill out the music, movie and book interest section – This appears to be the main place that people find that thing to mention in their email to prove they read the full profile. Make it easier for them by giving specific examples of favorite books or groups or films. Make it interesting by posting lyrics or quotes from some of your favorites and let people guess. In order to find the answer, they’ll write to you.
11. Tell people that you check your inbox regularly and answer messages when you think there’s a possible match. Since so many people clog up these sites just to get attention, it’s refreshing to know that someone is an active participant in the process.
12. Do not bark any commands as to who should and shouldn’t contact you - Leave the past in the past. You don’t want people thinking you have your guard up to high or are burnt out.