I met a guy who lives in Paris. We first met was after weeks emails to to each other. sometimes we email each other over 10 per day. Then he asked me to go to Paris, I said am working next day, impossible to go. So he came to see on the follow weekend. We spent a wonderful weekend. When he was departing to Paris, even I said there is a distance between Paris and London.
He went back to Paris and text me every morning during the the first week. But thinks changed after I take initiative to text him. He did not reply for a few days. Just I thought we may that’s it. He text me and said he was in abroad. We chatted that night over hours and the next days. Then same thing happened, I did hear from him for a few days. So I asked he what he was doing? He told me he was very busy. One day we chatted at night hours. But next day, he told me, it was very attractive, but we were far, I said I thought the same. Then he asked me should we be just friend. I then asked him, does he like me, he said yes, so I agree to be friends.
we did not text each that much, but once we started chatting, always could no-stopping to very late and have to go to sleep.
Now, it’s over two month since we first met. Last week, he told me he was under stress, because his business was having working capital problem, so we discussed about his business. To the end, I offered I go to Paris to see him,
I asked when was the good time to see him, he gave me the date. Then he told me, he has to work, and on the weekend he has to go abroad.
I felt uncomfortable with his saying, so I withdrew my plan and told him I was no going to Paris.
Next day he asked me why, I told he the reason because he said he has to work. But he said he only say he was unable to take days off from work. And asked I whether I wanted to be his girlfriend, I said yes.
We chatted happily that night, so next day I stilled booked my tickets to Paris, and I told he I have booked the tickets. He did not say anything until next morning after I asked he to say something, then he told me it’s just not the good time, he is super busy!
I totally confused. What should I do now. I told him I will wait. But I was hurt. Does he still interested in me?
I will start this off by saying that, as a general rule of thumb, if you have to crowd source your dating conundrums on the internet, it’s probably not a great sign.
He met you that weekend and either decided there wasn’t any attraction or interest and that was that. Or he just traveled for the sex and got it and that’s all he wanted in the first place.
I have said it numerous times before and I’ll say it again: If someone has to travel a great distance to meet you, that’s a red flag. Nobody should have to travel hundreds of miles to find love. It’s one thin if you’re vacationing in France and you happen to meet someone. It’s a different ball of wax to be sought out by someone who lives far away with the intention of building some kind of relationship.
Anybody who thinks that true love can develop via an Internet connection without ever meeting in purpose first is naive. You can romanticize it all you like, but what typically leads two people to find love with someone far away is a lack of options closer to home or a lack of social and emotional maturity. That’s not to say that it can never work between two people who are immature in some capacity. Of course it can. But everybody needs to stop glamorizing these long distance Lotharios and electronic relationships. I’d guess the majority of the time, something is off with one or both people.
If you’re someone genuinely trying to find a substantive connection with another person, block, ignore or delete the messages that come in on Facebook or Match/OkCupid from people in far away lands or states. They will do nothing to take up time you could be using to meet someone closer to you. Don’t waste your time trying to test them or gauge their interest. Especially if they’re exceedingly attractive. Someone that hot would not be trolling Internet dating or social networking sites and contacting people well outside their time zone.