Im going to throw this topic at you …multiple part question….and see how you tackle it. 

If you’re SINGLE and consort with and sleep with married people, is it preventing you from having a REAL relationship of your own ??  (Keep in mind, I am FINE with being single and happy.  I’m 38 and would LIKE to be in a relationship with the RIGHT person, but until THAT person comes along, I will keep doing what I’m doing     )

My whole outlook about married women is: If I WANT to enjoy fucking so n so …and she is making herself available to Me …WHY not? Whether it’s only once ..or once a month, just like a good dinner or fine wine,  I like to indulge.

I can’t sit there and worry about HER marriage and why she feels the need to stray etc. Im DEF NOT the type to break up a marriage and DEF never have ..in fact, I feel my sleeping with these women HELPS their marriage.  Why?  Because they are obviously lacking SOMETHING in their relationship (not necessarily the sex)  So, if I provide whatever that may be and they are more content as a WHOLE.  They now go home and are happier people.  Miserable people tend to bail and break up.  Content people tend to hang in there.

Women make LOTS of mistakes lol ..BUT when a woman KNOWS what she wants ..she knowsss what she wants. She may not be able to UNdo (or may not WANT to UNdo the mistake of picking the wrong guy to marry..due to kids, finances, etc.) BUT she CAN choose who to fuck that makes her feel how she WANTS to feel. Enter: Me. lol  (..and I dont necessarily mean make her feel JUST physically …because when it comes to me ..its more of a connection that has nothing to do WITH sex …but eventually leads TO sex )

I look forward to hearing your thoughts, Moxie ! 

~H

Okay, Andrew Dice Lay. I’ll take this challenge.

My whole outlook about married women is: If I WANT to enjoy fucking so n so …and she is making herself available to Me …WHY not?

This might not be popular, but I agree that you are not responsible for someone else’s marriage. You’re not the one who took the vows, they are. Do I believe in karma? Yep. I sure do. Listen, we can excuse it all we like. But we know that we are partaking in something that, if discovered, could destroy a relationship and someone’s ability to ever fully trust again. So while you’re not responsible for her marriage, you are responsible for your participation and the potential fall out from that. We tell ourselves whatever we need to, because usually we’re doing it for our own selfish reasons.

I feel my sleeping with these women HELPS their marriage.  Why?  Because they are obviously lacking SOMETHING in their relationship (not necessarily the sex)

If you’re SINGLE and consort with and sleep with married people, is it preventing you from having a REAL relationship of your own ??  (Keep in mind, I am FINE with being single and happy.  I’m 38 and would LIKE to be in a relationship with the RIGHT person, but until THAT person comes along, I will keep doing what I’m doing     )

I think it depends on why you’re engaging in that particular relationship. If you’re in it strictly for the sex, then I don’t think it will prevent you from meeting someone else. That is, unless the sex is so good that all other sex pales in comparison.  If you’re getting something out of these relationships other than physical gratification, then yes, I think engaging in such arrangements will get in the way. These arrangements are placebos of sorts. They keep us going and convince of things that aren’t necessarily real or true. But we engage in these no strings situations anyway, knowing they might hurt us or keep us further from our goal. We get lonely, we’re lacking the stimulation and attention that having a partner provides. I’m certainly not justifying those instances where we get involved with someone who is taken. But loneliness is a powerful motivator sometimes. It can encourage someone to do just about anything if they don’t have the proper coping skills in place at that moment.

Women make LOTS of mistakes lol ..BUT when a woman KNOWS what she wants ..she knowsss what she wants. She may not be able to UNdo (or may not WANT to UNdo the mistake of picking the wrong guy to marry..due to kids, finances, etc.) BUT she CAN choose who to fuck that makes her feel how she WANTS to feel. Enter: Me. lol (..and I dont necessarily mean make her feel JUST physically …because when it comes to me ..its more of a connection that has nothing to do WITH sex …but eventually leads TO sex )

Just from reading your letter, there seems to be something about being The Go To Guy for these women that works for you. You like the idea of being their stud. So much so that you believe what they tell you.

Here’s the thing about people who cheat:

They lie.

They will say whatever it is they think will keep their side dish providing whatever it is that they want. Sure, maybe you’re giving it to them in ways their husbands don’t. Maybe you’re more well endowed. Whatever. They’re appealing to your ego because they feel like they have to. They know that’s why you’re doing it. It’s not just about the sex for you, I don’t think. It’s about the attention, how these women make you feel.

I think you want to believe whatever it is that makes you feel special to these women. You tell yourself, or maybe believe them when they say, that there’s something broken about their marriage. That way you can feel like a Savior of sorts. It could very well be that these women are married to men who are never around, who don’t pay them attention, etc. What you’re not getting is that they’re reaching out to you because they’re hurt. Or bored. Or horny. You’re just a port in a storm. Not so romantic or sexy when you realize it could be any warm body they’re lying next to, is it?

So this connection you say you form with them? It’s likely all in your head. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and their relationship with their husband.  You’re filler. They’re actions are reactions to how their husbands make them feel and not so much how you make them feel. To put it bluntly, you ain’t that special. In some cases, they don’t even realize that. Anything to keep them from feeling what they’re feeling or not feeling.

Don’t kid yourself in to think you’re providing something their husband isn’t. That might be the case sometimes, but not always.

That just might be how you justify doing it in the first place.

Looking for new, fresh questions to post on our website……

SUBMIT YOUR DATING ADVICE QUESTIONS HERE: http://moxieinthecity.net/ask-email.php

No contact info is publicized or shared – It’s anonymous and free to ask a question. Get feedback from dozens of singles and coupled up men and women ages 25-50