Comment: I have a major crush on a guy and can’t tell if he’s into me or not. We two great dates and seem to have great chemistry. We may have gone too far on the last date and fooled around but did not have sex because we both agreed to wait. Now he’s acting very aloof and I can’t tell if he’s no longer interested and not into me or he’s trying to play it cool and taking it slow. He texts me almost every day to ask me how my day is going but isn’t asking me out on a third date!!!and its been almost two weeks!should I ask him or should i relax? maybe over thinking it? you seem to tell it like it is so im hoping you can help with my frustration
State: new york
You’re going to have to initiate the third date. Right now he’s thinking either you’re stringing him along for the attention or he’s not going to make much effort until you and he start having sex.
because we both agreed to wait.
Weeeelllll…no. He just agreed not to push it. I can assure you that he doesn’t agree that you and he should wait to have sex. He wants the sex, and until he gets the sex, he’s going to scale back on the effort. You now have to show him that you’re interested. Ask him out and plan the date. Gestures like that will demonstrate your interest and make him feel appreciated.
Nobody over the age of 18 should be going home with someone and doing “everything but.” Either have sex or leave it at a kiss at the door. I keep trying to impress this upon people. There is just no time for this kind of childish, in-between stuff anymore. Go home with them and have sex or don’t go home with them. Both options are perfectly valid. But if you’re going to let a guy feel you up or turn that corner to take third base and then play the “I think we should wait” card, expect to re-live this scenario over and over. Sorry, but you’re just too old for this. Nobody should be “fooling around” at 34.
To a guy, there’s little difference between heavy petting and sex. If you do one, you might as well go whole hog and do the other. You’re not sparing yourself any unnecessary judgment. Ironically, not having sex in situations like this is what will turn guys off. They might not dump you for not putting out, but they will absolutely cut back on the effort that they make. If they’re truly interested, they might stick around for awhile. If they’re not, they will fade completely. Which, I’m guessing, is the reason why so many women do this. It’s another test. If I reject his sexual advances and he still shows interest, then he *really* likes me and isn’t just sticking around for the sex.
Wrong. Totally wrong. This is another illogical rationalization that lacks any and all tangible data to support it.
Sex, to a man, is the equivalent of paying for dates to a woman. It’s not just a sign of interest, but it signifies that the woman is invested. Most men want a woman who likes sex. That’s one of the main reasons they commit. They want the consistent sex. If sex is withheld or used as a bartering chip, the guy bails. Not because he was just in it for the sex but because he fears that this ploy will be used over and over in the relationship or that the woman has sexual hang ups.