I am not sure if your remember me but I did a profile review session with you in April/May of this year.
I met the most wonderful man in early May and have been dating him exclusively since June. I just adore him and we get along beautifully. He is divorced with three girls ages 17 to 23- and he said I have made this the easiest relationship he ever had.
I came to this with little dating experience because I was very overweight and did not date at all in my 30s and early 40s.
This is working in large part because I take your advice very seriously. Dating within your league, his kids will always come first, etc.
Whenever I am in doubt about something I just find myself saying now what would Moxie do… and it works.
Sorry if this comes across as a bit scattered but I am just so happy. – Tracy G. , NY
I’ve followed your blog from xojane to here, and over the past months, your advice has changed my life for the better.- Emily
I just wanted to say thanks for today’s post, and in general. I found your site from following your comments on xojane, and I check in pretty much every morning over coffee. It’s been hugely illuminating to watch you tackle the various aspects of dating and online dating, and it’s been helpful in getting me to get over my own innate timidness about it as well. So I’m a couple of weeks in on creating an OKC profile, and while I was really braced for the worst, it’s been mostly pleasant so far. But today’s post still resonated, as I’m turning 35 this fall and sometimes can’t quiet that inner doubt that wonders “what next” and “what happens if all the pleasantness leads nowhere.” I find the fact that you’re willing to explore that that’s a possibility, and not a terrible outcome, vastly reassuring. It’s a dialogue I really don’t have with anyone I know, as most of my friends are married and have families underway, and my single friends are mostly guys who seem to have zero pressure to settle down at all.
So, thank you. – Melanie
Moxie: I just wanted to let you know that I read your site religiously and you’ve helped me learn something about the way men and women tick.
And maybe you’ve helped me reflect on how to be a better person for the people who are close to me.
Thank you and your loyal commenters for all your hard work. – Auslander
This isn’t a comment or question for the website but a great big thank you!!!
I discovered your site back in August when I was in the throws of online dating, both Match and Oasis. I was having what I thought was a ‘bad’ time online dating and was finding the whole thing confusing, frustrating and soul destroying. I did have a question posted and your advice was bang on, although at the time I didn’t really take it and continued to message the guy, to no avail.
My best friend had always encouraged me to look for the ‘fireworks’. I was with someone when I met her and she made me see that I was only really with him because I was too scared to be alone (a common problem). She always talked to me in chlichés ‘You’ll just know when you meet him’, ‘Your eyes will meet across a crowded room’, ‘When you find him your tummy will flip’ etc etc
I divorced the love of my life 5 years ago and never believed I could feel that way again, so I accepted my ‘He’ll do’ guy, because I thought that was as much as I could expect.
I was single for nearly a year before I threw myself into the dating scene at the start of this year, I had some good/bad/crazy/boring/weird experiences and was at an all time low when I discovered your website.
You and the people who comment on your site encouraged me, or should I say convinced me to give up! The stories made me realise that online dating, although in rare cases which are successful, is not really a way to meet ‘the one’. It’s a way to grow your confidence, learn about yourself, find out what you are not willing to put up with and explore the opposite sex. But not a way to find the right partner.
I remember one story in particular ‘You might end up alone, and that’s ok too’. It really did make me realise that it’s ok to just be me, to live my life without the expectation of ‘meeting someone’. It made me look at my little boy and realise that our lives aren’t on hold, we are not waiting to get started, we are started, this is our life with or without me finding someone. For that I thank you.
The day after I proclaimed to my Mum that I was ‘over it’ and that I had accepted that I might never meet someone, and that I was happy with that (this took me a month after reading your article) I was out with my family at a party and this guy walked across the room and smiled at me, and Moxie I swear my tummy flipped, I had the fireworks, the orchestra, the sweaty palms, the whole nine yards! Every cliche my friend had told me!
We have been together for 3 months now (early days I know) but I still get that crazy feeling when I see him. He’s smart, he’s funny…but he’s short, chunky and bald (every box I didn’t tick on the Match profile options lol)
As heady as this feeling is, and I am looking forward to some romantic times over Christmas, what I really wanted to thank you for is the knowledge that if it doesn’t all work out I’ll be fine, if he turns out to be a douche I’ll live, if he isn’t the one it doesn’t matter, I am the one and only I can make me happy. I like making him happy, but I now get that a man does not have to be the be all and end all of my life. Thank You
Comment: Just wanted to tell you that after our profile makeover call – I am now being pursued by 7 men!
They obviously loved the profile, but hated the photos. I uploaded a more smiley photo and now they refer to me as being fun and bubbly!
Thank you so much for your advice!
Comment: Just writing in to say thank you for:
Providing regular content
Providing realistic assessment of people’s situations
Understanding guys’ point of view
I’m 30, fall into the ‘white knight’ category of guy who reads your site, and am ultimately quite average. I’m glad that you can articulate that men want sex, don’t want to put forth any more effort than is necessary or is unfun, and do not want any conflict. We also want to feel special, prized, and worthwhile by our dates/significant others.
Please keep up what you’re doing.